I met with an author and therapist who is well known for her work with trauma victims. I wanted to talk to her about writing, speaking, school, my work as a child advocate, and my future. She had interviewed me to understand my story. She kept changing the subject back to it, and how I must be sabotaging myself to have these things happen. […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Anger, Emotion, Life, Recovery, Shame, Sorrow

I posted this song awhile ago when I first found it. It is now my angry music when I am allowing the pain and the rage to move through me. Today when I was searching YouTube, I found this version which was created more recently. It is very intense in both the images the creator posted and […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Life, Pain, Recovery, Resources, Shame, Sorrow

I have not written here for awhile because I received a wounding from a dear dear friend that hurt so intensely I could not even speak for a few days. This woman came into my life eight years ago and the bonding grew deep, which I suppose is the only way the wounding could be […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Friends, Life, Pain, Sorrow

I sink further in my isolation. I have now crossed to a place where I just want to be alone. If I am alone, I cannot be hurt by the pretending that everything is alright. I can’t be hurt by what goes unsaid. I cannot be hurt by you being afraid to touch me. I […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Flashbacks/Memories, Pain, Shame, Sorrow

I wrote this a few days ago as my anniversary dates approach. Right now I am choosing to survive, writing this drained enough of my energy to allow me to lie down and sleep. I have debated about posting it here. I made the decision in favor of it because of the purpose of this blog. […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Fear, Life, Pain, Sorrow