I met with a therapist shortly after my assault, and I told him that I was saying yes to myself a lot more often now because of my jolt into the reality of how short life can be. Frozen yogurt even though I wasn’t hungry, just craving? Yes. A walk in the park to see the ducks even though the bathroom needed cleaned? Yes. Lunch with a friend when a full laundry basket was beckoning me? Yes. He told me that he had made a philosophy for himself and his family to say yes whenever he could because there are too many times when you have to say no.
I understand that there is responsibility that goes with choices. I also understand that we can get too caught up in all the shoulds, then life becomes a boring chore and we can find ourselves in the doldrums. We need to find at least one thing everyday that really bring us joy and make us smile, maybe even laugh!
Here are a couple of recent examples that brought me delight. First, I cannot eat sugar. The other day I found sugar free jelly at the store. After a double take, a jar of blackberry jam went right in my basket. YES! I have again been able to enjoy a childhood favorite, peanut butter and jelly toast. Yum! Second, I LOVE all things Hawaiian. This past weekend a band I really enjoy listening to was performing a concert in Southern California. We had plenty of airline miles and I have a companion pass. We flew there for free, enjoyed the concert complete with hula dancing, a late night cheeseburger from In and Out, and some ‘just the two of us’ time; we spent the night and returned the next day. Fabulous YES!
Below is a video that someone created to go with one of songs by the group HAPA, whom we went to see. If you enjoy Hawaii or the ocean you will love the scenery the producer chose. As you watch it, let your heart sore and imagine some things you could say yes to that would bring you a big smile, and perhaps put a little dance in your step!!