I awoke Thursday feeling physically worse than I had the day before. It was my second day out of the hospital and I was hoping for at least a little improvement each day. On top of that our weather increased in temperature and I had yard chores that had to be done that day. Outside in the sun; dizzy, nauseous, light-headed, and fatigued, I was so angry. I was cursing the way I felt, why wouldn’t it just go away. It had almost been a month at that point and I was exasperated at feeling worse instead of better.
It takes so much to get me to the point of cursing. Slamming my hand in a door will not even do it. In my mind I was cursing the illness and the pain. Then it occurred to me, if I am cursing the suffering, am I cursing the One who created me and has allowed it in my life? I started thinking of an algebraic equation, if a = b and c = b then a = c. If God (a) allowed the suffering (b) then when I am cursing (c) the suffering (b) then am I not cursing God (a) ?
That was an mind opening experience. It didn’t change the suffering, but it sure changed my attitude toward it and made me think of the following verse:
8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:8-11, New King James Version)