…to be or not to be?
(Natilie Grant ~ The Real Me)
Psalm 17:15 (NKJV) reads:
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.
In a devotional from Joni Eareckson Tada entitled “When I Awake,” she writes:
I have to confess. I have often wished that I could just die. To close my eyes and wake to the sight of my Lord and the sound of angels has consumed my thinking on numerous occasions.
I so agree! Especially when I feel like I am in a black hole where the nightmares rule my sleep and migraines rule my wake. Joni goes on to say:
David, the psalmist, was no stranger to the desire to die. But his words, unlike those who promote euthanasia, are guarded. They are carefully crafted to delete all thoughts of death for the sake of escape: “And I – in righteousness I will see your face.” There is no way I’m going to end my life sinfully just so I can behold God. Such a thing is contradictory. I must be righteous in my death as I am in my life.
I am comforted by the fact that HE sees the real me and He loves me still. I am strengthened by knowing that Paul, a devout follower of Christ and author of much of the New Testament, came to this point in his life and overcame. I am encouraged that it is recorded in the Bible because God knew that many more of His followers would get to this place as we share in His sufferings and would need to know that even a great man of God that we respect and esteem and know walked closely with Christ could become so disheartened and depressed.
For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. ~2 Cor 1:8 NKJV
And even Jesus Christ Himself came to the point where His emotions and anxiety about what was in store for Him were so great that He wanted to die. Surprised? So was I when I found it. Many verses are quickly passed over as we read, until they become relative to our lives personally.
Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” Matt 26:38 NASB
Our Abba Father is so loving that He recorded in His Word one of His lowest points, that we should know that doubt and desperation is common in suffering. I am thankful that Jesus, being fully God, was also fully human and that He saw fit to let us know He was not ashamed of how He felt, and we can be confident that He has felt everything that we have or will ever feel. He understands. God was the source of their strength. He is the source of mine.
To be or not to be? For today, BE. Whenever I meditate on these verses and God’s love behind them, BE!