Since I have been blessed with this beautiful new neighborhood, both with a lake and surrounded by lakes, I have been walking more just to absorb the aesthetics. Soon I realized that this would be an excellent way to ‘sneak’ in some exercise as well. When I first began walking and was still brand new […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Comfort, Emotion, Fear, Flashbacks/Memories, Life, Recovery, Scripture

My little girl smiles up at me with a somewhat mischievous look. All the visions and parts in her head bringing her delight as she realizes they have all shown up for her. With perseverance and patience each piece of the puzzle has been placed, and there have been more lessons learned. I learned that […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Life, Pain, Recovery

I sink further in my isolation. I have now crossed to a place where I just want to be alone. If I am alone, I cannot be hurt by the pretending that everything is alright. I can’t be hurt by what goes unsaid. I cannot be hurt by you being afraid to touch me. I […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Flashbacks/Memories, Pain, Shame, Sorrow

So who do you talk to when there is no one to talk to? I call the sexual assault hotline and a man answers. Yes, I understand that men get raped. I get that it would be good for them to speak to another man because of shame and other sensitive issues. I was raped by […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Life

I wrote this a few days ago as my anniversary dates approach. Right now I am choosing to survive, writing this drained enough of my energy to allow me to lie down and sleep. I have debated about posting it here. I made the decision in favor of it because of the purpose of this blog. […]

posted by Flux
Filed under: Emotion, Fear, Life, Pain, Sorrow